How I found Courage in the Chihuahuan Desert! Jeep, Rocks, and Resilience!

Last week was spring break for us in Texas! We decided to finally tick off Big Bend National Park from our bucket list. For those who haven't been, it's a stunner: think high desert landscapes meeting towering mountains, all along the Rio Grande. We explored as much as we could in two short days, and while hiking was limited, we did dive into some 4x4 trails.

My husband, a Jeep owner, had been talking about Black Gap Road for weeks. Jeep has this badge system for conquering certain trails, and Black Gap was on his list. Now, I drive an off-road capable vehicle as my daily driver, but off-roading isn't exactly my happy place. Shelf roads, steep inclines, puddles of unknown depths, water crossings? My adrenaline hits redline just as a passenger.

I am, however, also a big believer in challenging myself every once in a while to do something I didn’t think I could ever do. It’s what motivated me to play roller derby, buy a sports bike, and take up insane activities like running. It’s been a while though since I really challenged myself, and while on the way to Black Gap Road, that little voice inside my head went “Daniela, you should try this!”

"Can I drive?" My husband looked surprised, to say the least. We were still on the rough approach road, challenging enough for me. "You really want to drive?" Absolutely! I wanted to at least get us to the trailhead. So, we switched seats. A quick glance at my daughter, who was radiating confidence, and we were off. Two minutes in, and I was having a blast. The road was rough, but manageable, and my confidence grew with each obstacle. Then, we reached the trailhead.

"Are you going to keep driving?" my husband asked. He was clearly enjoying watching me face my fears. "Yup, I think I am going to give this a try."

We turned onto the trail, and boom! A steep hill, then a blind crest, followed by an equally steep descent. Deep breath, I told myself, and then slooooowly inched my way down on the other side.  Turned left and there they were – puddles that went on for what looked like a mile.  No idea how deep they were.  Mind you, there was no water anywhere in that entire park because Texas is in a drought, but there was a spring right next to the road and what comes with that? Puddles! Puddles I had to drive through. Another deep breath, some assuring words from my husband, and through the puddles I went. 

“I think there’s a shelf road” I heard coming from my husband next to me.  And sure enough, there it was.  Right after the abyss of a drop, the puddles of fear, one right turn and boom – the shelf road. You know, one of those roads where the edge of the road is a drop. Not a ditch, not a slight drop, but a drop.  A “Jeep is going to tumble down the mountain” kind of drop.  Add to that the nice “rock formations” that were part of the road, and I felt like I had reached what would be a true test of my nerves and we weren’t even a mile into this trail.

So I had two options: I could tell my husband to drive or I could dig deep and do it. Well, I dug real deep and I did it.  My husband got out of the car to help me find the best line to get over the rocks, making mad hand gestures, and all while capturing this momentous moment in photos and video. Surely this road was nothing compared to some of the roads my husband has driven in Colorado, but this was my first attempt and it was a lot for a beginner. 

I just kept inching down the road. I stopped to catch my breath when it felt like too much.  I did look to my left eventually and admired the amazing view of the Sierra del Carmen mountain range from the awkward angle I was hanging in on that shelf road. And I kept inching on down. There were moments where I felt that the Jeep was going to tilt too far.  Then there were moments where I was worried it would slide and not come to a stop on some of the rocks. But I kept going, all the way to the bottom of this road. I even kept going past the shelf road further down the trail because it looked like I had literally mastered the worst part of Black Gap Road.  The trail was very bumpy, but nothing I couldn’t master.  Until we got to “The Gap”, which is where I turned it over to my husband and told him since he was getting the badge, he needed to actually make it across "The Gap."

We spent a good five hours that afternoon exploring the back country of Big Bend, and it was truly amazing. It had also been a while since I challenged myself to do something that truly scared me. I had no intentions of driving this road until about 30 seconds before I asked if I could drive, and I am glad I did.  And while the whole concept of getting out of someone’s comfort zone is a completely beat up cliché, I am a big believer in that it's the only way to grow.

"Always do what you're afraid to do!"

Ralph Waldo Emerson